The Lies that we Tell Ourselves (to Keep us Playing Small)

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Have you been lying to yourself, and it's holding you back from experiencing true fulfillment and happiness? 

There are many lies we tell ourselves on a daily basis, but most of the time we don't even realize what we're doing. In this post I'll dig into three common ones, but before we begin...

Take a moment to visualize something you achieved in your life that made you feel really happy, proud, or fulfilled. 

What did it take to achieve that goal, and how did you feel along the way? 

Were there times where you wanted to give up? Did it feel uncomfortable? Did you think you couldn't do it? 

If you did experience discomfort, but you still felt fulfilled and proud, I'm guessing it was all worth it. 

The truth is...

Some of the most fulfilling things we do are also some of the hardest things we do. 

I want you to keep that idea at the forefront of your mind as you read through this post. 

Most of the time, we are telling ourselves lies because of one major factor. 

Can you guess what it is? 


We're afraid of failing. Afraid of being embarrassed or looking stupid. Afraid of messing up. Afraid of succeeding. There are many reasons we self-sabotage and unconsciously hold ourselves back. 

So as you read through this post I want you to take this and use it as information, not judgment. I'm giving you this insight to help empower you to recognize when you're holding yourself back from growth...and to make your choices from that place, rather than from a place of fear. 

You ready? 

Here are 3 lies we tell ourselves to keep us playing small...

Lie #1: "It's easier said than done" 

If you take this statement at face value, you might say it's actually true. And I agree with you. Action does speak louder than words. BUT many times what we actually mean when we say this is "it can't be done". 

When we say "it's easier said than done" we're often implying that yeah, maybe someone else did it. But you're not them, and that it's not possible for you. 

That's not very empowering, is it? 

Now what if you took a moment to acknowledge that yeah, this is easier said than done. And you're okay with taking on the challenge. 

You can start by asking yourself "well, how can it be done?" And just taking one small step forward. 

Lie #2: I'm not [insert lie here] enough

"I'm not pretty enough"

"I'm not skinny enough"

"I'm not smart enough" 

"I'm not qualified enough"

We often follow this lie up with the statement "when I'm [prettier, skinnier, etc.] then I can do that". 

But you have got to stop living for the "when" because life is happening right now, and if you keep finding reasons to not get started, then you'll be waiting forever! 

Sometimes this statement can actually be valid. For example, if you're not qualified enough for your dream career. As in you don't have the credentials they're looking for you. If that's the case, then what can you do to become qualified? Do that thing, if it's something that's really important to you. 

If you're thinking you have to be prettier or skinnier, eff that! You are enough as you are already, don't be afraid to live in your full expression. 

Lie # 3: "I can't do [insert thing you wanna do (or don't want to do and you're looking for an excuse)] because [insert name] will get mad at me" 

There are two parts to this lie. Sometimes we genuinely don't want to do something, but we're afraid to be honest about it. So we pass off the power into someone else's hands. There is nothing wrong with saying "I'm not ready for this" or "I'm just not feeling this right now" instead of copping out and placing the blame on someone else. Take responsibility for your own life and your choices, my friend! 

The second part is similar to the first, but slightly different. What I mean is that sometimes we actually do want to do something, but we're blaming some outside circumstance for holding us back. 

For example... "I can't tell my boss how I really feel about that, because he might fire me or treat me differently". Is that really the truth? And if that does happen, so what? You can figure out the next step from there. 

Sometimes we also like to play into our victim mentality, because it's easier to bitch and moan about a crappy job or relationship than to do something to change it. 

You may be feeling a little resistant to everything I've covered in this post, and that's okay! I've dished out some tough love for you in hopes that you can do the same for yourself. 

It's not always easy to grow, and change, and seek happiness and fulfillment in our lives. But it doesn't come from staying in our comfort zone. 

If you had an "aha" moment during this post, I'd love to hear it in the comments below. What's a lie you often tell yourself, and how can you be more honest with yourself and take steps forward? 

And if you're a woman looking for accountability and support, join my all girl Facebook group called Habit Builder's Society. We'd love to have you! 

If you prefer this post in video format, enjoy...and thanks for reading/watching!