Journal Entry: Dealing with Loneliness & Rejection

 

This morning, I woke up with the usual excitement and drive I have when I think about working on my business and helping others transform their lives. 

I was so excited to share my new website and upcoming free course with everyone I know! I put a lot of hard work and heart into these things, and I often think "this is it! This is what everyone's been looking for..." Today, I basically got crickets. I felt slightly defeated, but I decided to go grocery shopping to distract myself for a while. 

I came home from shopping and created a Facebook invite for our upcoming super bowl party! I invited over 50 people and was really looking forward to hosting this party. Again...crickets. In fact, people were immediately responding with "can't go". 

I tried to muster up some more positivity, but to be completely honest...sometimes I run out. And frankly, I was feeling pretty rejected. 

Even I was thinking, "why am I making such a big deal over this?" but it was one of those times where it felt like the reality of everything hit me at once. 

Being an entrepreneur is lonely. Creating a business from the ground up is even more difficult. Choosing to not diet or participate in society's standards of beauty adds to it. Being someone who dedicates herself to encourage and inspire others is isolating. 

It does sound like I'm having a pity party right now, I agree! And I don't want to push you away by making you think that you don't understand where I'm coming from. The thing is...I was once told by a friend that because I'm positive, motivating, and driven...people think that I "have it all together" so they don't think to ask if I'm okay. 

Just like anyone else...I need that sometimes too. I do have down days, and bad days, and emotional days. The loneliest part of those days is feeling like there's no one I can relate to, and no one I can call. 

No matter how much we "have it together" we'll never forget that life is messy, that we are imperfect, and sometimes we need to ask for help. Thankfully, days like this are a lot more rare than they were in the past. And I no longer feel like I can't handle it, or like it's never going to end. 

How did I get through today? Honestly...drinking wine and watching Netflix. Sometimes it takes yoga & meditation. Sometimes it takes a journal entry. Sometimes it takes a hug. Or chocolate. Or brownies. Or a friend. It's always different! 

But life is yucky sometimes. We hurt occasionally. We fail often. We're rejected all the time. But do you take that as a sign to quit, or to learn something? 

All I know is that hurt reminds me of how thankful I am to be alive. Failures keep me humble, and remind me that there's still work to be done. Rejection reassures me that God knows what's best, and that I must continue to trust him. Bad days help me recognize the good ones. 

This particular day did come with a happy ending though...my boyfriend Jason called to remind me that he was there for me, and that I didn't need to feel rejected. I got a new subscriber to my site, which was all I needed to put me right back in the game. 

Small victories are nonetheless, victories. Count your blessings. Learn from the difficult feelings...even embrace them. At the end of the day, you will be okay. It will all fall back into place because trust me...it always does. 

Now what rut can I help you get out of?