Has someone ever said something to you that burned in your mind for years?
We forget that the things we say, although often innocently, can have such an impact on the trajectory of a person’s life.
I still remember one of the first times I learned to feel that my body was a source of shame and rejection for me.
I was in elementary school, and it was around the time where members of the opposite sex were starting to take notice of each other.
I don’t vividly remember comments being made about my weight up until this point, although I know there were plenty. But there was a moment on the playground that really shaped the way I felt about my body for a really long time…
I had a huuuuge crush on this boy. We’ll call him Joshua to protect his privacy. He wasn’t my first crush, but he was one of my biggest crushes.
We were also friends, and he was so nice to me that I began to felt like I had a chance to impress him, and maybe even date him!
I was crushing on him for a while, and the day finally came where I was ready to confess my feelings for him! Reluctantly, but excitedly, I sent a group of my friends over to spill the beans.
As I waited for them to return, my heart was fluttering with excitement. Would I finally get my first boyfriend?!
What was just a few minutes-but felt like hours-went by, and my friends returned. They came at me running and jumping with excitement.
This was good news! I couldn’t handle the anticipation of what they were going to tell me...so I anxiously asked what he said.
At the same time, they all blurted out “Joshua said he would go out with you if you lose some weight!”
My face immediately dropped. My cheeks turned red. I felt humiliated, and my friends looked confused. They thought it was good news.
But I was devastated.
From that day on, I held tight to the belief that I wasn’t worthy of being liked by a boy because of my weight. This belief led into many years of painful behaviors and thoughts about myself and my worth as a person.
To be continued...
Tell me...what was the turning point that changed how you felt about your body? Were you younger? Or did it happen as you got older? Feel free to share in the comments below, or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org