I'm Engaged! Now What?

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Getting engaged is something I fantasized about in my head over and over again since me and my boyfriend (now Fiance!) started getting serious a few years ago. 

Well...5 years in and the time has finally come! A few days ago on a cruise with family and friends present...he popped the question! 

It was so much more amazing than I had imagined it would be. Here's how it all went down...on the karaoke stage, I had just finished singing "Love me Like a Man" by Bonnie Raitt, and up strolls Jason, innocently asking me to be the prop for his performance. 

But instead of using me as a prop, he gave a quick speech about how his birthday is coming up, and I've made many of his birthday's special up to this point, and he was hoping I would make this one extra special.

Then he got down on one knee, and I died of shock! After I blurted out "yes!" and hugged my family, we performed "Let's Get Married" by Jagged Edge (which we had ironically sung together in the car on the way to the cruise ship). Aaand then he seductively serenaded me with a lap dance to the song "Pony" by Ginuwine. 

As you can imagine, it was quite the proposal! 

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Now that I'm home, the house is clean, laundry is going, and I've decompressed from everything that went on in the last few days, I'm ready to start wedding planning. 

This is the part where I bring you along for the ride! I've been to a million weddings (seriously feels like a million), but I've never gotten a behind the scenes look into all the planning and work that goes into it. So I'm bringing you along as I plan mine! 

First of all, the part Jason has been dreading is paying for the wedding. In the last few years, Jason has invested a lot of money into buying a home, and other investments that come along with that. I've invested lots into building an online business that so far has only earned me a few hundred back. 

What does this mean? We're looking to plan a wedding that will cost us $5,000 or less.

Now, many think this sounds crazy (I do too). But I've actually been researching this for a while, and it's possible to have a legit wedding with plenty of guests. I've seen an article that made it happen for over 200 guests, while spending under $3,000! 

Obviously, that means I have to get creative, and plan it all myself. Good thing I have an entrepreneurial mind, and I LOVE challenges. I also love planning. 

I believe the last few years have also prepared me for this moment, as I've been doing a ton of mindset work, and learning to be patient and enjoy the process. As far as obstacles? No big deal! I love putting my crazy mind to work, and finding creative solutions. 

So far I've put some thought into the guest list (by far the most overwhelming part so far, I wanna invite everyone!), our budget, a list of big expenses I'll need to consider, and we're looking into renting out a local hotel for the big day. 

The great thing about that option is if we book the entire hotel with family and friends, we can charge about $130 per room (which is average for Vegas prices), and that would take care of the venue costs! 

As far as the rest goes, we're looking to keep it really simple. Thankfully Jason shares my non-traditional style--we rarely do what's "expected" of us, which is obvious since it took us 5 years to get engaged! 

I'm thinking simple dress, decorations, cake (or cupcakes), and onsite food truck or taco bar. I'll think about the DJ and photographer stuff a little later. After all, we have about a year and a half left to plan. Maybe even longer...depending on how finances and all that align. 

This morning I vowed to Jason that I will trust and enjoy the process of planning, I will not be a bridezilla as the day gets closer, and the day of I will relaaax and focus on my guests. After all, I wanted to have a big wedding because I wanted to bring everyone together that has made a difference in our relationship. 

Jason and I have both agreed that we want our wedding day to be focused on our guests, not us! We're really excited to share this special time with the ones we love, and I can't wait to see what comes of this wedding planning adventure! 

Want updates on the planning process and other tips on how I stay cool, calm & collected? Sign up to receive my complimentary habits guide! 

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How to Re-Center and Re-Focus When You're Feeling Overwhelmed

Do you ever experience times when you just feel sooo stuck? It almost feels like you’re trying to move forward, but you only seem to be spinning your wheels? Me too! 

 

I recently went through over a month of feeling that way. Since completing school for health coaching, I haven’t been in a funk for that long. I know the tools to get me out of difficult times. But when I'm deep in the struggle, I forget to use them. 

 

If you’re currently feeling down, lost, stuck, whatever it is...this is the article for you. Save it and refer to it anytime you're feeling that way. I know I will! 

 

Here are a few of my favorite tools to re-center:

 

Get clear on your goals

One of my favorite parts in the book “Man’s Search for Meaning” by Viktor Frankl was when he mentioned that a lot of people experience depression as a result of being bored in their lives. Have you ever noticed that those who gossip the most are the ones who don’t have much going on for themselves? I noticed that I became happiest in my life when I started adding more into it, and when I began challenging myself on a daily basis. Why? Because I was no longer bored all the time! It even helped in my relationship...I stopped relying on my boyfriend for entertainment. I stopped coming up with crazy stories in my head that he was cheating on me all the time. And boyyy was that liberating!

 

Action step: Do a brain dump.

Set a timer for 15 or more minutes and just write down everything that’s on your mind. It might help to type it so you can get more out in a shorter amount of time. Take the content from your brain dump and start to organize it in a way that makes sense to you. If there’s just a lot on your mind that needs to get done, organize that into smaller lists of things to do this month, this week, and today. Keep it as simple as possible so you don’t overwhelm yourself. If it’s something that’s bothering you about a current relationship in your life, make the decision to talk to that person and hash it out. The goal is to find a way to get your thoughts out of your head, organize them, and take action if necessary.

Schedule time to do "nothing"

We spend a lot of our lives being overwhelmed and busy. Feeling all the “shoulds” of life. We should be cleaning, working out, eating healthier. So much so, that when it’s time to relax and spend time doing nothing...we feel guilty. As counterintuitive as it may sound, spending time doing nothing will greatly boost your productivity.

Action step:

Schedule time this week to do absolutely nothing! Now, remember that doing “nothing” doesn’t mean literally sitting there and twiddling your thumbs. It means doing nothing productive. But I would encourage you to focus on one thing at a time. For example, if you choose to watch Netflix...go into a room, sit down and do nothing but watch. Don’t be on your phone, don’t be multitasking. Just do that one thing that will make you feel recharged. I say this because multitasking can still keep your brain overwhelmed, and you won’t get the most out of that time.

Breathe

Breathing is such a simple thing to do, yet it’s something we often forget to do. We’re all breathing, obviously because we need to breathe to survive. But I’m talking deep, healing breaths here. There are a few ways you can work on your breath: meditation, movement, breathing exercises.

Action step:

Choose one of the three ways I’ve listed to work on your breath. For meditation, I recommend downloading the Insight Timer App, and choosing a meditation in one of the categories that speaks most to you. If you choose movement, I suggest walking outside and breathing in the fresh air, running, or a Yoga Vinyassa Flow class. Or if you want to keep it super simple, try this breathing exercise here.

 

It’s so easy to be doing “so much”, while feeling like you’re doing nothing. Sometimes all it takes is some simplification and clarification to re-center and feel like you’re back on track. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, try out one of these suggestions today!

 

Now tell me...what’s something you love to do when you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed? What is one of the biggest challenges you face when feeling this way? Share in the comments below and let’s talk about it!

And before you go...don't forget to grab your free deep breathing exercise! 

Journal Entry: Dealing with Loneliness & Rejection

 

This morning, I woke up with the usual excitement and drive I have when I think about working on my business and helping others transform their lives. 

I was so excited to share my new website and upcoming free course with everyone I know! I put a lot of hard work and heart into these things, and I often think "this is it! This is what everyone's been looking for..." Today, I basically got crickets. I felt slightly defeated, but I decided to go grocery shopping to distract myself for a while. 

I came home from shopping and created a Facebook invite for our upcoming super bowl party! I invited over 50 people and was really looking forward to hosting this party. Again...crickets. In fact, people were immediately responding with "can't go". 

I tried to muster up some more positivity, but to be completely honest...sometimes I run out. And frankly, I was feeling pretty rejected. 

Even I was thinking, "why am I making such a big deal over this?" but it was one of those times where it felt like the reality of everything hit me at once. 

Being an entrepreneur is lonely. Creating a business from the ground up is even more difficult. Choosing to not diet or participate in society's standards of beauty adds to it. Being someone who dedicates herself to encourage and inspire others is isolating. 

It does sound like I'm having a pity party right now, I agree! And I don't want to push you away by making you think that you don't understand where I'm coming from. The thing is...I was once told by a friend that because I'm positive, motivating, and driven...people think that I "have it all together" so they don't think to ask if I'm okay. 

Just like anyone else...I need that sometimes too. I do have down days, and bad days, and emotional days. The loneliest part of those days is feeling like there's no one I can relate to, and no one I can call. 

No matter how much we "have it together" we'll never forget that life is messy, that we are imperfect, and sometimes we need to ask for help. Thankfully, days like this are a lot more rare than they were in the past. And I no longer feel like I can't handle it, or like it's never going to end. 

How did I get through today? Honestly...drinking wine and watching Netflix. Sometimes it takes yoga & meditation. Sometimes it takes a journal entry. Sometimes it takes a hug. Or chocolate. Or brownies. Or a friend. It's always different! 

But life is yucky sometimes. We hurt occasionally. We fail often. We're rejected all the time. But do you take that as a sign to quit, or to learn something? 

All I know is that hurt reminds me of how thankful I am to be alive. Failures keep me humble, and remind me that there's still work to be done. Rejection reassures me that God knows what's best, and that I must continue to trust him. Bad days help me recognize the good ones. 

This particular day did come with a happy ending though...my boyfriend Jason called to remind me that he was there for me, and that I didn't need to feel rejected. I got a new subscriber to my site, which was all I needed to put me right back in the game. 

Small victories are nonetheless, victories. Count your blessings. Learn from the difficult feelings...even embrace them. At the end of the day, you will be okay. It will all fall back into place because trust me...it always does. 

Now what rut can I help you get out of?